devil's beatitudes

A friend of mine cut these out of her church's bulletin and shared them with me..... food for thought.

The Devil's Beatitudes

• Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, or too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians - they are my best workers.
• Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - I can use them.
• Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church - they are my missionaries.
• Blessed are the troublemakers - they shall be called my children.
• Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears to them.
• Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes - for they get nothing out of his homily.
• Blessed is the church member who expects be be invited to his own church - for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
• Blessed are those who gossip - for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
• Blessed are those who are easily offended - for they will soon get angry and quit.
• Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work - for they are my helpers.
• Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister - for he shall be with me forever.
• Blessed are you who, when you read this, think that it is about other people and not yourself - I've got you too!

a definition

Christmas

• In which I get (even more) addicted to chocolate
• why Lent has to happen

hope yours was, too

Our Christmas was just. plain. wonderful!

This year, more so than any other year, I saw a new beauty, a deeper character in my children on Christmas morn. They were actually more excited about what they gave than what they got!

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There were so many heartwarming or funny moments that it would be too hard to remember them all and record them all... so here are a few snippets.

The kids set their alarms (yes, my kids have to set an alarm for Christmas morning) for 7 a.m. We went downstairs and saw what Santa brought... my favorite thing was a note that said,

"Dear.... (kids)...

When you go to Mass this morning,

remember to thank the Lord for

the very best gift of all: the Christ child.

No one loves you more than He does...."

Then we ate breakfast, went to Mass, came home and opened one another's gifts. It was so nice to see the thoughtfulness and generous spirit in each of them.

******************

Another really nice moment was the day that King took the kids to the zoo and my mom (who spent Christmas with us) and I went to lunch, then shopping, then a movie (The Blind Side). We went to Atlanta Bread Company and they still had Christmas music piped in. How nice that it was 2 days after Christmas, a time when most retailers are looking to the next big holiday, and they still had all their decorations up and they were not only playing Christmas music, but it was the Christian form of Christmas music... y'know: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, We Three Kings, etc. And unless I was just there at the right time, there were no Santa songs, praise be! So, shout out to the A.B.Co!

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One of the things the kids received this year was a trampoline. Number 2 is having a BLAST on that thing. It doesn't matter to him that it is 34 degrees outside, he is out there jumping away. I want to try to get on it... yes, I am a bit fearful that I will either break it or end up in the E.R. (Redneck's last words: "Hey, yawl, wah'chiss!") Yeah, well. We'll see.

ps-

Because Christmas is officially 12 days long and BEGINS on the 25th, despite what we are told by the retailers, our cards will be mailed sometime before Epiphany, I promise.

peace

Nativity Silhouette

Our family has at long last slowed down to enjoy the last few days of Advent and to welcome the Christ child. Our prayer for all of our family and friends is that Christ's peace and love will fill each heart.

In all things and at all times, praise Him.

is it worth it?

When people you love, people who used to be close, no longer speak, no longer love or even like each other, continue to hold grudges against each other... it is beyond sad. You feel caught in the middle. You love each of the sides. But it tears you apart. It kills a part of you on the inside.

You want to be the peacemaker. You want to say just-the-right-thing to make them love again. However, it is impossible to be the peacemaker. This is something that they must do. All you can do is to pray.
Pray that one day, before dying, they will be able to reconcile. One day, before Christ makes them do it (because you KNOW He will... and talk about humiliating! That'd be worse than going to the Principal's office.)

We should all take the time to think about people we hold grudges against. Is whatever happened worth being kept out of Heaven? It is hard to tell someone that you are sorry. Especially when you think the other person is to blame. But, wouldn't this season be the perfect time to extend a generous spirit of peace... an olive branch even?

roundabout and roundabout and roundabout we go

Well, my kitchen is spotless all thanks to a wild boar.

Y'see, wha'ha happened wuz.... a friend of ours, a hunter, gave us a package of wild boar meat. Three packages of wild boar sausage and one package (6) chops. King used one of the packages of sausage at breakfast the other day. It was quite good, very lean. Not too gamey. I have never cooked pork chops, because I'm not a huge fan of pork. But our friend said it was easy, so I gave it a whirl.

The chops were beautiful. However, when they cooked.... my house took on a very very gamey + oily/fry smell. When I went upstairs to go to bed, the really really really gamey, oily/fry smell was up there, too. I could barely sleep. I don't do well with "stank" as I have quite the sensitive nose. (Put it this way, when I was pregnant with number 1, King and I were traveling to Florida and I told King that I smelled water.... half mile later we crossed over a creek.)

Ennyhoo.... long story short, this morning I awoke to find that the smell was still there. It started a cleaning spree... we washed cabinets, ceiling fans, floors, windows, stove top, counter tops. The kids vacuumed and mopped the whole downstairs.

King was planning on making a fruitcake this morning, but his plans were delayed just a wee bit. I just couldn't have him cooking in such a smelly kitchen, y'know?

Now it smells like fruitcake.

*sigh*

:/ Can't win for losing.

a very good gift

Ok, so I had these two moles on my back that were itching like crazy lately. Both of them were in spots which were hard to reach, so I'd either get someone else to scratch my back or I'd grab the nearest tool and scratch them myself.
Recently, the pair of sewing scissors sort of scratched the bigger of the two and I finally decided I was just "done" with messing with them and I went to get them checked out.
After much anxiety and loss of sleep, just knowing I had skin cancer... they turned out to be a type of wart ('scuse me, I just puked on my keyboard) that people get when they are older. Turns out that my bra was irritating them as well, hence the itching.
The doctor asked if I'd like to have them frozen off. I resisted to use the word "hell", but gave a resounding "YES!"
Zip! Zip! and it was all taken care of. In ONE visit. Whew, Merry Christmas to me!

no pictures, please

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat." Honk!

*******************

Because Christmas is growing ever closer, whether or not I am ready for it, I picked today to do my shopping for family friends. I dropped the wee ones off at playschool and headed to Wal-Mart.
Because I am under the influence of hormones, and feeling rawther bad about my seemingly ever-expanding girth, I was just SURE that someone was lurking in the aisles of the retail giant ready to snap a photo and add me to their list of offenders on their website: The People of Wal Mart.
Thankfully, I think I got away before they saw me.

ps- Express Lane.... 20 items or less...... "Super Speedy Checkout". yeah. sure.

the goose is getting fat

If my gut gets any bigger, my cover will be blown.

(photo found at www.buycostumes.com)

it is finished

Closing my eyes to remember the memories I am most fond of
takes me to a place where there is a chill in the night air.
Pine trees all around, the smell of smoke from a raging camp fire.
I am wrapped in someone's loving arms, drowsily listening to the sounds of laughter.
Lanterns illuminate a card table with the merry Rook players.
You are there.

Next I am carried to the Innsbruck den where we have just played the Beatles "I Want to Hold Your Hand" 45 record for the millionth time. Giving our vocal cords a break, we stop long enough to drink down some world-famous chocolaty goodness.
You are there.

Sadly, I am transported to a memory that I am not so fond of.
My eyes are sore and swollen.
My whole world has been turned upside down.
I have just lost my father.
So many emotions.
I desperately need to be surrounded by people who can reassure me that everything will be ok.
You are there.

The happiest day of my life, I am marrying a man so wonderful that even my dreams could not have imagined anyone so good.
You are there.

Introducing my own children to my family. It is a proud moment to see your own children make people smile.
You are there.

There you are. You are part of my history. You knew me when I didn't know myself. You, along with the other laughing voices who played Rook by bright lanterns, the other people who helped comfort as we had to say goodbye to a loved one, the people who happily shared my wedding day, and the smiling faces of family watching my children play... all helped make up who I am. And who I will become.

Len, in these and so many ways, thank you for being there. Right there.

********

In loving memory of my uncle, Len, a devout Catholic, who passed away on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, December 8th, at 5:40 a.m. - the time when "Lin's coffee" was normally just finishing brewing.

cancelled!

I'm pretty sure we've decided NOT to have our annual Christmas party this year. Besides, the date I reserved is about a week away, so it'd be rude to send out invitations this late in the game.

I feel a bit guilty because we've had it so long now.... but I know that friends will understand. I mean, I'd understand if they were so covered over with stuff that they couldn't see the light of day and wanted to get out from underneath at least one responsibility......

I just hope I won't be changing my mind at the last minute like in the book Skipping Christmas (made into a movie called Christmas with the Kranks starring Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis).

no she ditten

Tonight we went to Mass to celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary. There was a sparse crowd despite the fact that it is a Holy Day of Obligation. The kids had all (those in school, anyway) gone this morning, and King and I decided that this would be a beautiful time to spend together by ourselves. So, #1 babysat while we scooted up the hill to church.

There is a certain group of people, the Irish Travelers, perhaps you've heard of them. They are notorious for traveling around the East coast scamming people by painting their houses or barns. Getting paid good money to paint with very watered down paint which washes away within a couple of months. To be fair, some are decent, honest folks. Some are not and give a bad name to all. Anyhoo, they usually show up en masse, dressed in their matching Tommy Hilfiger outfits or their Juicy Couture, hair is all the same (big, long, and straight for the younger ones)... and. their. phones.

Tonight, we had just gotten back from receiving communion, and the woman whose phone rang actually answered it!

Dang!!!

Bigger Name on the Other Line!

it's all in how ya look at it

Proof that every day is filled with sunny blue skies.

in need of an attitude change

I have a big trip to Dallas, TX coming up soon. Should be fun, huh? Why, then, every time it is mentioned do I roll my eyes and make a Marge Simpson-type growl? My friend, Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless-Lest-She-Trip-Down-the-Stairs asked me this yesterday.
It got me thinking. Why AM I dreading it? I am not afraid of flying. I don't even dread visiting a city I've never been to before (or state for that matter). After much consternation, eye-rolling and growling a la Marge, I think it is that I have so much to do here at home that I think that 4 days/3 nights away is going to set me back further.

Right now, for example, I have 3 baskets of laundry waiting to be folded, 10 items to embroider for the school's Christmas bazaar, 1 jacket to embroider for the daughter of a dear friend, a quilt and an outfit to make for the one-year old son of another friend, two scarves for a third friend, 3 quilts for my sister's girls, not to mention the quilts I want to either finish or make to either keep or sell. We won't even talk about the two big Christmas parties that we host each year which are barreling down the tracks (though I did win an auction for a maid for a day and am planning on cashing that bad boy in the week of the parties). Too many irons in the fire I suppose.

On the bright side, I did actually tell someone "no" yesterday. The guidance counselor at school called to see if we would like to host an exchange student again this year. We were lucky enough (read: spoiled) to have the same young lady two years in a row the past couple of years. Since she won't be returning this year (they have big exams in the 9th year of school) we decided to take the year off.

So back to the Dallas trip. According to my spastic friend who falls down stairs when I mention her name here (tee hee hee) I need to change my attitude or not go. The latter is not an option, so I must adjust the ol' outlook. Easier said than done, my friends. Easier said than done. I do think, however, that once I get on the airplane and no longer have control over whether or not my laundry is folded, I will be able to relax.

what can you do punchinello, punchinello?

I can do it, too, Punchinello, little fellow. I can do it, too, Punchinello, little man!

doorbusters

King and I went to get a Christmas tree this evening. On our way, we passed buy an electronics store that had a half full parking lot and tents set up all around the building. People were scattered about, sitting in fold-out chairs, all bundled up in their parkas, sipping their Starbucks double mocha cappuccinos ready to be the first people to be let inside the door.

Wouldn't it be great if there had been a line like that this morning to get inside the doors of church?

anybody else see the irony in this?

This was in a sales flyer for Black Friday.

I guess, just in case things back there in the toy department get rowdy.

happy thanksgiving

Blessings are simply innumerable.

We are grateful for each of them - from the biggest to the most microscopic.

I do wonder, though, to whom are atheists thankful?

friends who have cancer....

.....are a gentle reminder from God that we shouldn't hold grudges.

We then are able to love a little deeper,

stay a little longer,

and hug a little tighter.

oh yeah, forgot to tell you about these

My friend, Tori, and I went to a craft show yesterday. There was a wholelotta stuff I wasn't interested in. Probably the thing I was the least interested in was called a "Redneck flashlight" which consisted of a block of wood with a match stuck in one end. I mean, we may be redneck, but we do at least have wonna'eeze big yalla thangs:

Ennyhoo, I fell in love with the artwork of two people. One man was a pen and ink artist. His work was beautiful. He adds a tiny bit of color to the piece once the design is finished. I couldn't mentally find a place for his framed artwork in our house and the note cards, though gorgeous, were not practical. The other dude actually won me over as far as I dropped a wad'o money with him. He was a paper artist. Originally from China, his grandfather taught him the art of using an Exacto knife to carefully cut out silhouettes. My favorites were these.

Yes, those are kids trick or treating.

I don't care if it is a jack o'lantern. I think it is beautiful. And I am just eclectic enough to leave it up all year.

The top piece is children standing in line to give St. Nicholas their wish list. The piece on the bottom is a silhouette of a mom tying her daughter's hair bow. Sugar sweetness, n'est pas?

So, my plans are to make this little back hall into the world of silhouettes. I want to try my hand at paper cutting and make silhouettes of my children. There are several online tutorials about it. I can do this. Right?

coasting into a very thankful time

This year we are staying home for Thanksgiving. For that I am thankful. I do wish we could spend time with family, but everyone is scattered about the southeast and, for the most part, has plans to stick close to home. Everyone needs a bye year, right?

The thing that brings me close to tears because it will be so wonderful, is the relaxed do-what-you-want pace we are planning. King will be playing golf with a very good friend of his, our #2, and their #1. I will no doubt be sewing something and perhaps will venture out and "save money" by shopping on the most insane retail weekend of the year. But maybe not. I have only "done" the day after Thanksgiving sales once - last year. My partner in crime who talked me into climbing on the roller coaster ride that is Black Friday will be someplace way far away.. I think near where Dorothy and Toto live.

Here is just a handful of things for which we are thankful:

• God's grace
• family whose love is unconditional
• friends (the family you would handpick if you could)
• our health
• the sheer beauty of God's design

May you be abundantly blessed by Him not only this time of year, but always.

Look at the beauty just outside our front door!

wakka wakka

let me just get this out there

God bless the person who invented cheesecake.

And may God abundantly bless friends who bring it with them when they visit.

update: number 5

My God, if she gets any cuter, I am going to have to implode....

...just sayin'

why is it ....

.... that whenever someone starts scratching just the right spot on your back, the next thing you know it itches all over?

but why?.... you feel so rotten the next day

Recently a friend of mine, a police officer, went to speak to a school about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. When she got finished with her presentation, she opened up the floor for discussion and a Q & A session. She said the kids had a lot of questions, but the one that stuck out most to her was when a fourth grader asked if it was true that "parents needed to drink each night to be able to deal with their children".

Now, of course this lends itself to a myriad of funny comments, but just ruminate on it a bit.

I am certainly no teetotaler, and I am in love with the occasional margarita. But, how many of our children are brought up to think that they are the reason mommy and daddy have to tie one on each night?

Moms get together and laugh about how their kids have driven them to drink and then while they're at it, just to keep things fair and balanced, they bitch about their husbands.

Is it just me who thinks this is all pretty sick?

naptime around here lately....

......... has been like playing a game of whack-a-mole.

um.... wow!

This.

is Utterly.

Amazing.

but the mind is still fertile!

Each time I try to get a project started or completed today, as is the case most days, some certain small people in my life have several urgent demands or emergencies. Therefore, I have decided this phenomenon needs a name:

"Productivus Interruptus"

devotional entry

Back in June, one of my favorite people gave me a book, a devotional, as an early birthday present. The entry for today, November 11, spoke directly to me. Perhaps it will to you as well.

exerpt from

A Cup of Comfort: Women of the Bible Devotional

edited by James Stuart Bell and Susan B. Townsend.

Life in the Light

Among them were Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons.

Luke 8:2

• When Jesus met Mary, she was trapped in a dark world of endless nightmares. Shunned by the townspeople, she wandered alone and afraid, unable to enjoy even the simplest pleasures in life. Then Jesus healed her and made it possible for her to enter a world of light and laughter. No wonder she became one of His most devoted followers. I'm sure those who had known her before her miraculous change found it difficult, if not impossible, to recognize her.

• When some of the people at church share their stories with me, I find it very hard to believe that they were once the people they describe. Many people have been completely transformed.

• Only God can accomplish such a miraculous makeover. He can turn sorrow into joy, hideous into beautiful, and mistakes into moments of opportunity.

"thank you" falls short

In gratitude for all Veterans, thank you.

Happy Veterans Day/Day of Remembrance/Armistice Day

***

***

In Flanders Fields

by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)

Canadian Army

***

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

***

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

***

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

being thankful

King and kids go to beach this past Saturday.
Car breaks down halfway home.
I am stuck at home, an hour and a half away.
I have a huge event at the high school I am committed to.
I make a few calls.
Two amazing friends and a tow truck come to their rescue.
One takes #s 1, 4, and 5
Two takes King, 2, and 3, plus a friend of 2's.
$800 later, with the car safely in the driveway, I am sitting in awe at some pretty majorly wonderful, awesome people in our lives who, without batting an eye, offer help.

I am stripped down to pure gratitude and thankfulness.

snappy morning

"Daddy, for breff-diss, I want Scrabble eggs."

****************************

Me to #2: "Did you take a shower last night?"
#2: "No ma'am."
Me: "Well, better go ahead and take one this morning, since you wore your uniform last night." (When he got to football practice, he discovered it had been cancelled.)

#4: "Is that why it was so smelly in my room last night?"

silver linings

All of a sudden this morning, just after the big kids went to school, the power went off.

For about an hour I was walking around my house, much like a ball in a pinball machine, bouncing off all the things I couldn't do.

When it first went off, my initial thought was: oh, the kids won't be able to watch PBS, let me quickly think of something fun they can do while I get some more housework done (this is my most productive time of the day). They grabbed a book and a refilled juice cup and I went into the kitchen.

Oh, that's good that the washer is finished, I'll switch the laundry. Nope. The washer is actually NOT done, the power is just off. Stupid!

Well, then, I will vacuum. Nope. Power is off.

Hrm... sew the binding on a quilt I am making? Sewing machine won't work, silly.

Dishwasher? Nope (and who wants to wash them by hand?!?!?!)

Call and report it to the power company? Cordless phone. Duh.

Starting to get the hang of this "bumping into walls" thing, I scooped up my children, fell onto the couch in one great big embrace, and just held them for a bit. We enjoyed giggling together. Then we read together the book "A Bad Case of Stripes" and then we played a very silly game of pat-a-cake where we try to clap really loudly and yell "PATTYCAKE PATTYCAKE. BAKERS. MAN." I guess you could call it Obnoxious Pattycake.

Anyway, so all that to say that despite the frustration in not being able to be productive, I am very glad to have had the opportunity to just sit and do a handful of nothing at all.

where we went for lunch

"Shake-A-Leg" #5

"Chickfull A" #4

"Chikka Lay" little friend

Chick-fil-A! Mom

like crack, only not quite so illegal

I just let Satan talk me into a Chocolate Extreme Blizzard.

Now I feel like I need to go to confession or something.

getting ready for the halloween parade at pre-school

"Mom! This is too itchy!!" whined the shooting star as his shoulders slumped forward.

*********************************

"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up," beamed Raggedy Ann.

a vintage dress, a little bit of tulle, and a red wig

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

~Glenda the Good Witch of the North

no wonder it was so quiet upstairs

Number five seems to have taken a lesson in applying make up from Joan Crawford.

I think she was worried that I will pull the "No more wire hangers" scene because she got into big sister's cosmetic bag. If she only knew it was all I could do to keep my laughter from bubbling forth.

I did have to play "bad cop" just a wee bit though, as we were 10 minutes late leaving due to a million and one things happening, plus I had called for her to come on downstairs so we could go a couple of times already.

guess what we got to do?

Wee one and I were picking up a friend at preschool and we got to ride the alligator.

Y'know, the fun place where you get to press the button on the outside of the doors and the inside of the doors.

to fair or not to fair, that was the question

Number 4 had a field trip with his preschool class: The County Fair.

His teacher had plenty of parent volunteers to drive, but invited all parents in case there were any who wanted to go with us. I had not signed up to drive and I found myself without any other plans for this morning. I'd been a tad worried that it would be crowded with other school groups and that he'd get away from his class, so I contemplated going along. I had sooo much I needed to do here at the house, I needed to exercise, and I also had lunch plans with a friend but still, something nagged at me to go. Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy kept going through my head.

To "fair" or not to "fair", that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous preschoolers (not to mention the toothless "Carneys"), or take arms against a sea of laundry....

Needless to say, I chose "to fair".... not only was it a great opportunity to get to spend time with my sweet four year old and snap some really cool pictures but I'd also be able to have lunch with my friend. Definitely one of those win, win, win situations.

positive reinforcement at its finest

Y'know how in the Bible there are many references to milk and honey? One website I found said that there were over 60 references to honey, twenty of which contain both milk and honey.

• Leviticus 20:24 But I said to you, "You will possess their land; and I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey." I am the LORD your God, who has set you apart from the nations.

This all got me thinking, and, well.... have you ever tasted the two together?!?!?

Go now. I'll wait. Grab a coffee mug, pour about a cup of milk in it. Now add about 2 T honey and a drop or two of vanilla extract. Warm it in the microwave for a minute and stir.

MmmHhmm... good stuff, huh?

on the way home from the cheap-o pizza buffet

"Mom, that candy pizza (dessert pizza) makes me have hot air balloons."

-as quoted by #4

back in time

Today we went to an event that celebrated the 18th century: Colonial Times. We were only able to spend a couple of hours there and didn't see more than half of the exhibits. It continues tomorrow and I hope we get to go back, but if not, we will have something to look forward to next year. What fun it was to see these artisans sharing their crafts. So amazing! Most all were in period clothing (though I did see one 'colonial teen' texting someone!)

These ladies were showing the art of needlework. I asked the mom if it was ok if I took her picture and she said, "I'd be disappointed if you didn't... as hard as I'm working on this!"

********

This man's family has many generations of wood carvers. He had carved, from one piece of wood, a chain. Inside a block on the chain, he had carved a ball an inside the ball was another ball. I know I am not explaining it well, you'd have to see it to believe it.

In the picture on the left, he is demonstrating how he carves a ladle. In the picture on the right, number 4 can't tear himself away from these really cool buttons made from walnut shells. I'm telling you, this man is pure genius.

***********

The man in black is teaching the man in green the art of sword-fighting.

***********

And this, well, this is a simple pound cake, but the bundt pan mold was simply gorgeous. I'm thinking this would be pretty to serve at Thanksgiving. The silly food folks tried to get me to believe that a woman who made it was a cake carver. They nearly had me. (Did I mention I am a tad bit gullible?)

*************

This is the palette and apron of an incredible artist. I thought it was as much art as her paintings.

This is a reproduction, printed on canvas, that I fell in love with. I think it will be stunning in my dining room.

***********

Lace.

Apparently the French lace guy was a riot. Perhaps we will see him tomorrow and I can give you the full report on him.

a bright idea

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. You see pink everywhere. Today we saw a woman dressed in jeans and a pink t-shirt standing outside of a bridal shop. She had her purse on her shoulder and a cigarette in her mouth. (insert Marge Simpson-like growl here)

I doubt any of us have a clue about just how much money is funneled into breast cancer research. I wonder how much of it actually goes toward research instead of lining the pockets of research companies?!

Looking ahead to November: Stupidity Awareness

s.o.s.

##########################

Help! I am buried under so much laundry!

My ironing pile alone is enough to give Sir Edmund Hillary pause.

##########################

explaining confirmation to a 4 year old

Mom, why do we have to go to church tonight?

Because your sister is being confirmed.

What's kern-fern?


Confirmed. Confirmed.

She will be sealed with the Holy Spirit.

(Puzzled look.)

She and the Holy Spirit are making a pinky promise with each other.

OOOOOOOhh.

when commitments are hunting me down like rabid dogs

Today is the kind of day where I just want to run into King's arms and stay there... with. nothing. else. to. do!

humbling

About once every 7 years, King and I have to learn expensive lessons. We so easily get hooked by something glamorous and then it comes back to bite us in the patoot. A few instances easily come to mind: creamy white Mazda 929 with sunroof and leather seats, DNTK stock which was supposed to be a sure-fire money maker, and this svelte couch. Expensive lessons. Like God banging our heads together and saying, "silly people, shiny things are for crows."

We tried to sell it on Craigslist, but no one was interested. That's ok. A local needy family inherited it. May it bless their lives.... except in a different way than it has blessed ours.

finish the sentence

There has to be gravity ________.

happy fall, y'all

I hope it is as beautiful at your house as it has been at ours.

Find a bit of time to make a pile of leaves and then jump in it!

a pledge

Last night, as I ambled upstairs to get some much needed rest, I said "Gooddight" (with a rawther congested, nasally voice) to #1 who was sitting at the dining room table working on some book report.
"Oh," she started, "I, uh, am going to need you to type this."
"Are you finished? I mean, I feel like crap, honey, how much longer until you're done?"
"Uh, well, I don't know."
(Report is due tomorrow.)
"I'll have to type it in the morning. I am getting ready to go take a Benedryl, though, so you will have to remind me in the morning because I may be a bit groggy."
"Uh, well, ok."

Fast forward to this morning. She comes in and asks me what I think about her outfit. It takes a few minutes, but we find something for her to wear. Then I stumble back into my room and King and I change sheets and make up our bed. Then I proceed to unload all the millions of laundry baskets full of folded/ironed laundry that I made this week making piles for each family member.

The kids are all downstairs eating breakfast and getting ready for school. Number 1 comes upstairs to brush her teeth before heading to school. I look at her and in a moment of clarity, I panic. "Oh my stars, your report! Why didn't you remind me?!"

"Well, I thought you remembered since you were up."

She was tardy for the first time in a lot of years this morning and was none too happy about it. But I think I will leave this note on her pillow:

From this day forward, poor time management skills on your part will NEVER again constitute an emergency on my part.

like that woman on the nyquil commercial

So two days ago I started sneezing. And sneezing. And sneezing. Now I have a full blown case of hay fever/cold/allergies - whatever you want to call it. It is hard to imagine this much snot coming out of one person's nose. (sorry, I know that's gross)
There is this odd stinging/pinching feeling just behind my eyeballs that makes me want to crawl in bed and shut my eyes. For about 2 days.

The wee little midgets screaming through the house with their shrill little voices isn't helping matters.

The show must go on.

somebody's gotta do it

While waiting to pick up my daughter after school yesterday (remember: freshman in a Catholic high school where there is a dress code) my eyes are burned by the state of undress of one of the students, who I understand to be a senior. She has on a skirt so short that when she puts her arms straight down her side, the hem of the skirt hits at the palm of her hand. She is also wearing stiletto heels.

I had to write a letter to the principal. I mean, who else but the self-named Dress Code Nazi could (or would) step up and say something? Sadly, the response I got back was not much more than a patronizing head patting.

On a related note, "Butt-Head", the 15 year old son of a friend of mine said he'd be glad to recruit her for his high school.

in case you missed it

I finally got the cake recipe on (below the "what I like most about school is" post). Let me know, if you make it, how it turns out.

aha, this explains a lot

"My favorite part of school is spinning around and around"

the cake

So many people have asked me about the birthday cake recipe. An online friend of mine, Laurie, says she altered a recipe that she found online. She needs to write a cookbook. She definitely has a God-given talent!



So, here is Laurie's recipe for the world's most delicious (and low carb, sugar free, gluten free) lemonade pound cake.

1 cup butter

1 1/2 cups Splenda

5 eggs

2 cups almond flour (you can either make your own or I recommend Bob's RedMill Brand in the Organic section of Kroger)

1 T baking powder

1 1/2 t lemon extract

1/4 t lemon zest

Cream butter and Splenda until fluffy. Add in eggs, one at a time, incorporating each egg into the batter before adding the next. (Trust me, it is worth your extra time!) Mix in baking powder and almond flour. Stir in lemon extract and lemon zest. The batter should be very light and fluffy. Scoop the batter into a buttered/almond-floured bundt pan. Bake at 350 for 50 min.

After the cake cools, move it from the bundt to a cake plate and drizzle a Splenda/lemon juice glaze over the top.

political cartoon

happy birthday to me

When King found out that I had a new low carb/wheat free/sugar free cake recipe that I wanted to try for my birthday, he told me I was NOT going to make my OWN birthday cake. He said he'd make it. So, after the kids went to sleep Wednesday night, he made me one. Have I mentioned that he is a saint?


If you have ever had a lemonade cake, or even lemon pound cake with lemon glaze, you will almost know how good this thing was. So, at 11:30 on the eve of my special day we had a slice of "birthday cake" and a decaf cappuccino.

Just look how gorgeous that cake turned out!

(ps- The star treatment was given to me throughout the entire day and it turned out to be a very special birthday indeed. I am so thankful for my family and friends.)

poor little dude

Here is a recap of my 4 year old's day today:
cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, yack.

nothing is easy anymore

When we went back-to-school shopping for our High School Freshman we had to buy a new calculator, which was atrociously expensive, but Staples tried to sweeten the deal by giving a $10 rebate. (I will not even go into the pain in the rear it was to actually register for it!)

I miss the good ol' days when rebates were in the form of a postcard check with no instructions. Everyone knows what to do with a check. Duh! Even better, I remember when prices were low enough that you didn't need to worry about a stinkin' rebate.

Yesterday, a month later, we get the rebate in the form of a Visa debit card. The envelope also contained a whole bunch of small print, legalese paperwork. Reading it gave me a headache.

Here are some of the topic titles:

• Definitions
• Authorized Users
• Using Your Card
• Returns and Refunds
• Receipts, Confidentiality
• Our Liability for Failure to Complete Transactions
• Amendment and Cancellation
• Information About Your Right to Dispute Errors
• Privacy and Data Protection (they are tracking where I will use this pittance!!)
• Arbitration Disclosure
• Arbitration Provision.

It's ten dollars, people!

I wonder how much money they had to pay the lawyers to come up with said legalese for my ten dollar Visa rebate card? Or the extra postage to get it here in a nicely-printed window-style envelope?

Wanna know the irony in all of this? click here.

la salle de bains = bibliotheque

Some friends recently invited me to join a book club. (laughable really) So, here are the two books I am currently working on.

• Same Kind of Different as Me (please tell me the pace picks up soon) by Ron Hall
• Persuasion by Jane Austen

I am not a reader, per se. As a young person, I hated reading. Heck, I wouldn't even read the Cliff Notes. Now I would love to have the time to read. I'm a reader wannnabe. I have to be content reading a chapter here or there. As the saying goes, "so many books, so little time."

I did finish the last month's book: The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. A good read. It flowed along like the currents of a river, slow and steady. No churning rapids, but still a page turner. The end was my favorite kind - everything tied in nice, neat, happy bows.

simple logic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldHF6PFUukw

oh yeah, guess what?

Number 5, who King has nicknamed "Self" because she is always wanting to "doitmyself" is wearing
Big!
Girl!
Panties!
All!
Day!

Oh yeah, very nice. I am loving all the money we are saving from not having to buy diapers/Pull Ups. Two very special people have given her Dora panties and she just loves them.

Also... are you ready for this?

Big!
Girl!
Bed!

Yep. Can you believe it? It is sort of bittersweet though. When King and I were taking the crib (which she actually loved) down, she looked dumbfounded and then with a wee, small, sad little voice she said, "but, that's my.... jumping bed."

Stab me with a knife, will ya?

I would have left the crib up, I promise. It's just that in the night, she was waking up needing to go potty (though she is not nighttime trained yet) and we figured that she could either "doitmyself" or come into our room and ask for help in the night rather than waking up crying.

hear that?

If there was theme music to each stage of my life, this would be my current song.

Fade to black.

Spotlight on a man in a tuxedo with a big top hat and a microphone......

Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Busiest Show on Earth!

(spotlight now on Ring One) "In ring one, we have the dad lion tamer running the oldest cub to the ball fields. Look at how he handily takes two other kids (the clowns) along with them. This is amazing, folks!"

(Ring Two is lit) "In ring two, the mom fat lady is preparing a semi-healthy dinner while the toddler is running around her ankles like a monkey on a tricycle. To make things more exciting, the toddler is also chewing gum and is whiny. How much more exciting can it get, people?!"

(Bam! Twirling lights on Ring Three) "Ring three has the girl on the flying trapeze who has just come home from dance class and is now attempting to (drum roll please) graph functions (crowd gasps) for math homework while also trying to hide her excitement for the next day, for it is Freshman Week at school (aka initiation)."

Back to ring one we see that the lion tamer has let the clowns play in the red clay from the baseball field. Oh wow, circus fans, see what a mess those clowns are!

"Checking in on ring two we see that the monkey has decided to throw her "chewgum" away and just after turning on her heels and attempting to skip back to mom's apron strings she tripped over who-knows-what and fell and cracked her forehead open. In one smooth movement, the fat lady scoops up the monkey, grabs a kitchen towel and a lunchbox ice pack and immediately gets that gusher stopped. (crowd swoons over blood stains on the fat lady's shirt) What a death-defying act we just witnessed!"

"In the meantime, trapeze girl hops from ring three to ring two to finish dinner preparations, however, she didn't know that mom was cooking TWO dinners at once (clever mom) and she turned off the stove. UH oh, what will happen next?"

..... stay tuned to see more of these amazing feats. Will the fat lady make chickens fly by throwing away six beautiful boneless skinless chicken breasts? Or will this amazing circus troupe have their next performance at the E.R.?

chicken salad anyone?

Y'know how the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade".....

Well, what if your chickens come home to roost?

deep thoughts

Several years ago, Saturday Night Live had a regular feature: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.
Here are some deep thoughts I have had today:

If you chronicled every person's status messages on Facebook, you really get a glimpse of where their treasure lies. Sad when all the posts have to deal with being frustrated with children and/or husbands and how much they are looking forward to the next drink.

The next deep thought today has to do with the second coming of Christ. You know how history repeats itself? Well, I so much see humanity as the new Israelites in the desert. Our freedom from bondage, slavery into the promised land depends on us all being on the same page. We have become so distracted by golden calves that we can no longer see the goal. What if it is ME who is holding us all back? What if it is the homeless dude you pass on the way to work? What if it is the manager of the grocery store around the corner? What if it is you?


Finally, I would like to redefine for our government the definition of "poor". Poor is not the person sitting on the couch on their front porch screaming at their children whose only crime is acting their age. The one drawing welfare because they are too lazy to work, despite the fact that they seem to have so little.
Poor is that person we all have passed on the street. You know the one. The one whose leathery face is pinched and angry. Screaming and cursing at someone near. An invisible person. No one else is in sight. The person who is tormented by invisible demons.

Deep thoughts. Not too funny though.

wake up people

The children came home from school one day this week and mentioned that when they went to daily Mass the priest said that our Bishop has stated that we can no longer shake hands at the Sign of Peace. Nor will there be any Precious Blood offered at Communion.

Catholic or not, just think about that for a second.

Beyond sad. Obama's swine flu has made people scared of actually being a Christian. Scared to receive their Savior in the Eucharist because of germs.

Satan has entered the building people. Wake up!

Christ embraced lepers but we can't shake hands with someone who might have the flu? Where is the faith here? Isn't He bigger than germs? I don't even remember this kind of brouhaha when AIDS was rampant. For God's sake, have a Purell dispenser just before the Holy Water Font. Before Communion, ask those who are germy to refrain, but don't cut us ALL off from receiving Jesus in the Eucharist.

They'll know we are Christian by our love fear.

respect, it's a beautiful thing

Today on the way home from school, we were met by a funeral procession. I can't speak for the rest of the world, but here in the south, all traffic stops until the cars pass by.

Respect for those who are mourning: it's a beautiful thing.

Just one of the reasons I love living in the south ('cause it sure ain't because I love mosquitos).

animals now more important than children?

Oh yeah, there were some kids living there, too.

(disclaimer: this is an article and video about animal abuse and though I didn't think it was overly graphic, I just want you to be warned in case you are sensitive about that kind of thing.)

a conversation stopper

When I picked up the wee ones from Mother's Morning Out today, Number 5's teacher shared that the had read the book One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish in class and had made a little matching game with red and blue fish.
One of 5's friends was standing nearby and I asked her what color the red fish was.... "Green", she beamed.
"Um, no. Not quite" I said.
Then I turned to 5, said "what color is this?"
"Mine."

mmmm Hmmmm... 'kay then.

three days

King and the kids (yes all of them!) are going to NC to visit his sister and her family for this upcoming long weekend.

I am nearly in panic mode trying to plan the hours from the moment they leave until the moment they return.

There is so much I WANT to do, so much I NEED to do (some of the items on those lists overlap). I think a girls' night sleepover party may be in the works. I should purge some stuff and bag up some cabin clutter for the local thrift store, perhaps I could dust the furniture. I need to exercise and want to spend some time in the Lord. Soooo many choices.

There is also this quilt I want to make but never have gotten to because as sweet as it is that my sewing room is also wee one's nursery.... well, you get the picture. Besides, the dining room table is a great sewing surface for big projects. I won't have to be clearing it off to have meals. Or homework. I could eat in the living room. On my broken-legged couch even!

I just hope that whatever I choose to fill those 60 or so hours will have me refreshed, renewed, and ready to see those sweet smiling faces bound through the door on Monday night.

it finally happened

I told them it would. They kept doing it. Over and over and over. For the past several years.
Like loose teeth, really. It was just a matter of time ..... until the couch legs finally caved in.

keep those gas-guzzling tanks on the road baby

Oh wowzer... if global warming is the reason that the past few days have been absolutely cool and crisp and beautiful, bring it on! Indian summer a thing of the past?!?! Fine by me!

(image found at pribek.net)

"I do believe in spooks global warming. I do believe in spooks global warming. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks global warming."

cake time