Wednesday, September 16, 2009

hear that?

If there was theme music to each stage of my life, this would be my current song.

Fade to black.

Spotlight on a man in a tuxedo with a big top hat and a microphone......

Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Busiest Show on Earth!

(spotlight now on Ring One) "In ring one, we have the dad lion tamer running the oldest cub to the ball fields. Look at how he handily takes two other kids (the clowns) along with them. This is amazing, folks!"

(Ring Two is lit) "In ring two, the mom fat lady is preparing a semi-healthy dinner while the toddler is running around her ankles like a monkey on a tricycle. To make things more exciting, the toddler is also chewing gum and is whiny. How much more exciting can it get, people?!"

(Bam! Twirling lights on Ring Three) "Ring three has the girl on the flying trapeze who has just come home from dance class and is now attempting to (drum roll please) graph functions (crowd gasps) for math homework while also trying to hide her excitement for the next day, for it is Freshman Week at school (aka initiation)."

Back to ring one we see that the lion tamer has let the clowns play in the red clay from the baseball field. Oh wow, circus fans, see what a mess those clowns are!

"Checking in on ring two we see that the monkey has decided to throw her "chewgum" away and just after turning on her heels and attempting to skip back to mom's apron strings she tripped over who-knows-what and fell and cracked her forehead open. In one smooth movement, the fat lady scoops up the monkey, grabs a kitchen towel and a lunchbox ice pack and immediately gets that gusher stopped. (crowd swoons over blood stains on the fat lady's shirt) What a death-defying act we just witnessed!"

"In the meantime, trapeze girl hops from ring three to ring two to finish dinner preparations, however, she didn't know that mom was cooking TWO dinners at once (clever mom) and she turned off the stove. UH oh, what will happen next?"

..... stay tuned to see more of these amazing feats. Will the fat lady make chickens fly by throwing away six beautiful boneless skinless chicken breasts? Or will this amazing circus troupe have their next performance at the E.R.?

5 comments:

lizzerd said...

DOOT-DOOT-DOOTLE-OOTLE-DOO-DOOT-DOO-DOO!!!
the bearded lady sends her sympathies and wishes she could help out, but she is held back by her own act with the midgets.

Anita said...

Ladies and Gentlemen...this is the greatest show on earth! I'm a bit envious. It is soooooooooo quiet at my house. Where did the circus go? Love this entry. Enjoy!
P.S. Mom does NOT equal the fat lady. How about a tightrope walker for Mom? I hear she's a great balancer.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious and so true I am sure! We're only at the one act stage....I am afraid of the big top but I suppose there's no getting around the natural progession of things! Thanks for making time for me this morning- I am so pleased with the finished product!!! MMW

50s Housewife said...

You are so funny! We have a circus going on around here too. :)

Bia said...

want to come over next week for a cappuccino?