devil's beatitudes

A friend of mine cut these out of her church's bulletin and shared them with me..... food for thought.

The Devil's Beatitudes

• Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, or too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians - they are my best workers.
• Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - I can use them.
• Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church - they are my missionaries.
• Blessed are the troublemakers - they shall be called my children.
• Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears to them.
• Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes - for they get nothing out of his homily.
• Blessed is the church member who expects be be invited to his own church - for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
• Blessed are those who gossip - for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
• Blessed are those who are easily offended - for they will soon get angry and quit.
• Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work - for they are my helpers.
• Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister - for he shall be with me forever.
• Blessed are you who, when you read this, think that it is about other people and not yourself - I've got you too!