the norma jeane mortenson of the fruit world

My apologies to other fruits if this statement hurts their little feelings, but face it, kiwi fruit is gorgeous. Originally named Chinese Gooseberry, they were introduced to New Zealand in the 50's where someone thought they might rename it. Just like Miss Mortenson changed her name to Marilyn Monroe, a clever little man from Auckland gave her a new moniker: Kiwifruit. Gorgeous.

feelin' lighter

I dared to climb upon the scales this morning at Curves, and I have lost a few pounds (yay! and there was much rejoicing). Also, I got an awesome and much needed haircut this afternoon. (Bridgit rocks!) And then, King said that he could see a difference and that my hard work was paying off. (whooo hooo)

So, suffice it to say I am floating a little above the ground today.

wings vs pitchfork

Ugh... it is 6:30 a.m. I just went to sleep five hours ago. For the past several weeks now I have done a Curves workout in the morning from 7 -7:30 and then after a full day with kids, then making dinner, etc. I head to "the big gym" at 9 p.m. and workout for at least two hours.

Due to some busy-ness we have going on, I won't be able to get to Curves or the gym until Monday.

So, here I sit. Dressed and ready to head up to Curves.... after a wicked-good workout last night (thanks, Liz, for the tip to do cardio warm-up, strength training circuit, then a huge chunk of cardio). But I am so sleepy I can hardly type these letters. I know I need to go, but dang, a little siesta on the ol' couchiepoo wouldn't be so bad either.

don't tell him he's wrong

"He who must be obeyed" comes up to me this morning and tells me that he thinks the fact that I am making him breakfast is a gye-dea. (translated: good idea.)

gym rule # 23

Never eat any sort of bean or legume prior to exercising.

playing with our food

Until I ran across this picture a bit ago, I had forgotten that we had made these last month after a really yummy summer meal - complete with fresh corn. Come on, you know you want to say it:
What a corny craft idea.

doc doc goose

Is it just me or do you feel like you are getting ready for a first date when it is time for your annual pap smear?

• showered
• underarms shaved
• legs shaved
• privates so clean you could ea...... er, nevermind, you get the idea.

laughing ourselves skinny

I know it sounds like the beginning of a joke: Four friends walk into a gym together.....
but it's no joke. We're having a blast together, three friends and I. We are managing to do gradually increasing amounts of cardio followed by at least an hour of strength training.
Usually we go at night, after those of us who have kids with a bedtime get the little monsters settled down.
We are amazed, in all honesty, how much fun it is to have a big "girl party" that doesn't involve male strippers or alcoholic drinks! Although we do muse about such things. We laugh nearly non-stop and often involve (disturb?) others around us.
It is fun to watch the faces of the poor women who venture into the Ladies Only room, unsuspecting creatures that they are. One, a black woman with gorgeous dark chocolate, velvety-soft looking skin, beautifully coiffed hair, lipstick, and the perfect figure, was going at a fairly good clip on the treadmill when all of a sudden she disappeared. Doubled over with laughter at our shenanigans she was.... good thing she was holding on!
Ennyhoo, we have named our journey "Laughing Ourselves Skinny". Look for us on the Comedy Club circuit.

why, oh why, oh why

So, ennyhoo, I joined a second gym to supplement the Curves workout last week. This one is a very serious gym. It is located in an old grocery store space if that gives an indication as to how large it is. There must be 5 million dollars worth of equipment in there. On one wall alone there are about 20 treadmills. Thankfully, there is a "ladies only" room with a handful of cardio machines and a full circuit of strength training machines.
I have decided to go after 9 when the kids are settling down and King is at home to watch over their slumber. Last week I was able to go four times, and I just got to go again tonight. I decided after I did my "routine" in the ladies only room, that I would venture out into the large room with people who are already in shape and try out some for-serious-people-only ab machines. I went to the front desk and asked someone to show me how to do them.

OH. MY. GOD.

the moral of the story

Just got finished watching "The Last Mimzy", which is an odd little kid oriented sci-fi movie. If you have not seen it, this post will be jibber-jabber. At the end, the credits were rolling and the kids and I were scratching our heads trying to make sense of it all. I asked #3, the 8 year old, what she thought the moral of the story was.
"What do you mean?"
I knew I was taking a chance asking her, since I don't know if she had ever heard the term "moral of the story".
So I asked the question another way, "What can we take away from this movie and apply to our lives..... what to you think was the REAL thing that saved the future of the universe?"
"Love." She continued, "Like, I don't think it was really the girl's teardrop that saved the universe. But probably the love that made the teardrop."

I'll sit down and shut up now.
Did I mention she plays the violin?

horoscopes

My almost 3 year old woke up this morning and eagerly informed me that his little sister was now named Mavis. I got so tickled. We don't know anyone named Mavis, and it is such an unusual name I was taken aback, but still, it struck me as really funny. But, he didn't stop there. He said my name isn't Mommy anymore, it is Scullery. OK, that is fitting I reckoned. But, how does he know what a scullery maid is? When he got to his new name and called himself Diesel, I began to get suspicious. This boy has been watching too much Thomas the Tank Engine.

When we got downstairs, I went on a website that describes all the characters from Thomas and Friends. Then, I really got goosebumps, this boy is GOOD at his new-found "fortune telling" gig. Here are the descriptions of the three of us (now that we are trains):


Mavis - Mavis is a feisty young diesel engine. She is high-spirited, often doing things without thinking about their consequences. Her lack of experience often leads her into trouble, but she's smart and learns from her mistakes. She has a lot to learn about trucks, but, with Toby's help, she is learning to be a Really Useful Engine.
Skarloey (though pronounced Scullery by a 2 year old) - This bright red engine is dedicated to doing his job well and is always eager to work.
Diesel - Diesel is a devious diesel engine, who is always scheming and ever ready to stir up trouble.
Mavis Skarloey Diesel

not stressed

Had a treadmill cardiac stress test this morning. My dad died at 46 of a massive heart attack, so this is an attempt to at least get a baseline. Also, to rule out "trouble" for an odd pain which I kept having about 4 months ago. (Turns out it was probably nerve pain.)
Even though it wasn't the fancy schmancy nuclear stress test, doc says all is well.

(Be sure to remind me of that when you call me but we are both temporarily deafened by the ear-splitting screams of #4, won't you?)

call it "eclectic"

When I am working out.... and have my little earphones on.... I sometimes listen to Christmas music. But not cheap, secular Christmas music. No "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" for me. Nosireebob. More meaty stuff. Like that Josh Groban or Luciano Pavarotti. My favorites are their versions of Ave Maria. Or Panis Angelicus.

picnic disaster

Picnic disasters. I imagine the propensity was handed down, genetically speaking, by my mother.

To this day, if you mention the word picnic to my mom, she will no doubt tell you about the only time she planned one for my brother, my sister and I. She packed homemade fried chicken, biscuits, slaw, potato salad, etc. and loaded up the family and drove to a park for a picnic. (And she was NO June Cleaver, so this was a big deal!) In her mind it was going to be sheer perfection. No sooner had we gotten there than the gentle spring zephyr turned into gale force winds. The sun was still shining beautifully, but the wind was formidable! Mom swears the crust was blown off the chicken! The memory of this picnic to her is just plain disaster. Sad, really, because I remember what fun it was to be on a picnic (our only) with my family.

I love taking my family on picnics. The funny thing is they mostly are disastrous not unlike the one and only from my childhood. Take today for example. We were planning to go to the Science Center but it was very close to lunchtime, so I stopped and got us McD's salads. We head to the Science Center and find a gorgeous parking spot in the shade. All the picnic tables are empty and shaded. There is a gentle breeze. The perfect day. As we launch into our salads, remarking to one another about how beautiful the day is, we began to feel raindrops. There was not a cloud in the sky, so I figured it was just one of those freaky things that wouldn't last long. We kept feeling drops, but it was still a mystery as to where they were coming from (I thought at one point we were unknowing participants in a Science Center hidden camera experiment) until we noticed that the raindrops were actually soapy and there was the faintest smell of Clorox. Turns out the Science Center, connected to a 15 story apartment building, was being pressure washed today. Even though the pressure washer dude was ALL the way at the VERY TIPPY TOP, those soapy, bleach-laden droplets were raining down onto our lunch. Into our drinks. Onto our shirts.
I was livid.
I cursed.
Out loud!
Then I remembered "The Picnic" and I had to laugh.

Hopefully my children will remember it fondly and with the humor God must have intended. Unlike my Mom, I will not swear off picnics, but I will try to continue to approach them with the attitude that we are together as a family and this will make a GREAT story one day.

So, what about you? Do you have any picnic disaster stories?

sum sum summertime

My kids and I have a different perspective on how the summer is going. When someone asks them "How's your summer going?" They always give a positive answer.
When I am asked the same question I pause, roll my eyes and say, "It's going!" I am mentally comparing this summer to last when we did lots of neat things like visiting a glass-blower studio, going to a cheese factory, walking around historic Old Salem in NC, etc. We haven't done as much this year. I sort of feel guilty about not being a better "activities director".

Thirty years ago or so, summers for my sister and I were low-key. We were responsible for our own fun many times, unless we were visiting family. We would begin each summer by spending a week camping at the lake with the whole fam-damily- like I'm talking extended family even! Then we'd be adopted for several days by each of our dad's sisters (he has 4) and then finish the time off by spending a week at my grandparents'. I can remember swimming, going to Stone Mountain for the light show, and one aunt even got me art lessons because she somehow knew that I loved art. But the most fun of all was being with our cousins. During the rest of the year, we were 6 hours away, but during the summertime, we got to spend lots and lots of time with our very favorite people.

So, when I look at the summer of 2008, it's no wonder my kids give a resounding thumbs up. They have gotten to spend a time with each of their cousins and are planning a couple more in a week or two. And, my job as Family Activity Director is probably a fairly secure position.

eight legged beasties

Every morning when I walk down the back stairs to go to the car on my way to Curves, I walk through at least one spider web. No matter if I wave my arms in front of me or not, I always get it in the face.

Even when I skip Curves and the kids and I are going somewhere.... it matters not how many wee ones go before me, I will be the one who walks into the web!

I'm thinking they are smarter than I previously gave them credit.

a black cloud kind of day

hrrmmpfh... I want to be a spoiled brat today.

like anesthesia

Bia is making everyone in her life write haiku poetry. (Japanese poems with 3 lines. The lines have 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively.) I wrote this one for her. Musta been the cappuccino I just downed.

Thunderstorm tonight!

Ah, the kids are in bed.

Where is my pillow?

summer fare

YUM! Here is what I have been enjoying this week:

• tomato aspic - made with shrimp, green onions, avocado, carrot shreds, capers, and celery
• watermelon
• strawberries
• blueberries
• spinach soup
• Heroin chicken (named so because it is addictive!)

And for the rest of the family:

• meatloaf
• corn on the cob
• sliced tomatoes
• salad
• watermelon
• Heroin chicken
• cream cheese and cucumber sammiches

setting the record straight

After helping #4 put together a "specially-made" for toddlers puzzle I asked, "Who's that a picture of?"
He replied, "Dumpty".
Close enough. It was Humpty Dumpty to be exact. And he was sitting precariously on the edge of a wall, arms outstretched to show the action which was just about to take place.
"What's he getting ready to do?" I inquired.
"Jump."