Dear 75 degrees,
I love you. I really do. But I must tell you that I do not love the company you have been keeping recently. That "wet dishcloth" friend of yours, what's her name? Humidity? Yeah, her. You need to dump that chick, she is a drag on our friendship!!
Until you come to your senses, I am going to keep my distance. When you realize she is no good for your popularity, and you finally get away from her, I will go out with you again.