the application

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME___________________________
DATE OF BIRTH_______________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________
IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________
Please attach a second sheet if necessary.

HOME ADDRESS_____________________
CITY/STATE___________
ZIP______

Do you have parents?___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:_________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain_____________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van?__Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires?__Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes_No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?__Yes __No
E. A tattoo?_Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek, or a belly button ring? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________

E.. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND/OR RED HOT POKER TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

________________________________
Mother's Signature

_______________________________
Father's Signature

________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi Signature

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.