final exam

Last week I received a call. I did not recognize the name on the caller ID, but my interest was piqued, so I answered it.
On the other end of the line was a woman who sounded like she knew her way around a fifth of Jack Daniels and Marlboro reds. She told me her name and said she was calling for prayer. Her words were unsure and choppy and her grammar was not great. There was desperation in her voice. A pleading that tugged at my heart for the rest of the day and the next. Even today I was reminded of her and said a little prayer for her.
She kept saying she was not Catholic but her brother is. And wanted me to pray on the phone with her. I didn't know what to do or to say. I should be a good Catholic Christian and have a prayer book right at my fingertips. She threw me off guard. I wanted to pray with her, yet I was scared. It was uncomfortable. I have never prayed for someone on the phone before. I still find it a bit unnerving to pray (ad lib prayers) aloud with my family, let alone, a perfect stranger.
She said she had not been sleeping. Without even pausing, my mind immediately jumped judging thoughts: "probably can't sleep because of all that booze you suck down". It shocked me. I felt extremely guilty. "I don't know this person, what's my problem?!?"
She said she had been having nightmares and hearing voices. "I am out of my league, I need to call the psych ward," was my next judgemental thought.
For some reason, her instincts told her that things had gotten bad enough. So much so that she called a stranger to ask for prayer... not just any prayer. She specifically wanted Catholic prayer.
I was in an important, crucial role. I told her I would hold her in my prayers all that day and ask our Prayer Team to lift her in prayer too. She was so grateful. I was a coward. Why didn't I pray with her?
"Thank you so much," she said, the relief in her voice was palpable. I felt like worm poo.

Thankfully, a bit later, she called back. When I saw her number on caller ID, I was elated. Maybe I could have a chance to redeem myself. A split second later, my next uncontrollable thought was, "Oh great, now she is going to be calling me everyday. I'm gonna be her new crutch."
Gee whiz, just shut out those thoughts and answer the phone already.

"Hey, it's me again. What is that prayer y'all pray?" she wanted to know.
I chuckled, "which one?!?"
"Oh, I don't know. I just want something I can pray myself. I think it would make me feel better." This woman is fighting demons and she knows that prayer is her best weapon against spiritual warfare.
Because I didn't have something right nearby, I told her that I would call her right back. I ran to the laptop and Googled "Catholic Prayer". I searched quickly for "Prayers of Healing/Peace of Mind" and found a prayer that was just the right thing. I called her back within a couple of minutes and read it slowly to her while she wrote it down.
"I don't know how I can thank you. This has made me feel so much better already. I just can't thank you enough," she went on. She sounded like she had the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders. I was so excited for her.
And, I was very humbled. I felt as though the whole experience was a Final Exam. How quickly can you think on your feet, MG? I paused, not wanting to step outside of my comfort zone. My judgements of this woman were instantaneous and uncontrollable. I pushed them aside. My hardened heart bled for her. I wanted my prayers to help heal her. I wanted the best for her.
"What can I do to repay you?" she wanted to know.
"Just pray for me in return," was all I could ask.