Thursday, October 25, 2012

thinking bigger

We give.
A lot.
Or so I thought.
Recently the Lord has repeatedly put on our hearts to give more

I gotta tell ya, I have not been exactly a willing participant. 

King first said the words aloud.  Those words resonated with me.  I had already heard that message.  It had been placed on my heart.  But I had kept silent until then.

I grumbled and groused with King, both of us knowing we were being called upon to act.  We had both seen the amazing way 'you can't out give God,' but wasn't there a threshold we didn't have to cross? 

Me: But Lord, there's not only the care and feeding of a family of 7 on one income, there is all the time and talent I share, there is what we give to the Church and other charities, there's the tuition at the high school, and in a few short months, there is going to be an amazing amount we will have to cough up for college. 

Him: (unchanging)

Me:  Come on, Man.  Don't push back on my heart like that, it might what's that?  How did I just happen to stumble upon this "hardness of heart" scripture?  Wait, why do you keep showing me how stubborn I am.  (stamps foot like a 2 year old) I am NOT stubb... er...

He has my attention now.  Sigh.

I am stubborn.
But, more so I am obedient.

Me:  Yes, Lord, I will give more.  Even though the world tells me I need it.  Help me to drown out the world, I pray. 

Him: (silence, except for the sound of what I swear is a smirk.)

Me: Do I have to be happy about it?  At least for now, if I promise to keep it to myself, can I please be grumpy?

Him:  Of course.  But you'll see.  Just like I have shown you before. 

Me: See what You did right there... that whole 'just like I have shown you before' thing?  Arrgh. 

(insert the sound of a layer of pride cracking. breaking off.  falling to the floor.)

Me: Just promise me that everything will be ok. 

Him: Have I ever let you down?  Even once?

Me: (wondering: is there a way to eye-roll behind God's back?)

1 comment:

Anita said...

Giving changes the soul. True. Story.