Wednesday, December 3, 2008

cupping my hands at the well

I have been in a spiritual slump now for a couple of years. I wouldn't say it is as dire as Mother Teresa's unquenchable thirst, but it is a noticeable low point. To see the low for what it is, I must first describe the high point.
About four years ago, we were in a parish that we loved. We had much admiration and respect for our pastor; in return he made us feel appreciated by asking us to turn up our level of stewardship by sharing our leadership talents (that we didn't even know we had!!!). We saw that we could be disciples and share the Gospel with those around us. We garnered confidence as Christians and stronger Catholics. Our spiritual well-being was healthy.
The parish is a very historic church built in the mid 1800's, is sheer heaven. There is almost no other way to describe it. You walk in and all your senses are delighted. The woodwork, the marble, the lingering smell of incense, the quiet reverence - all, plus the enveloping sense of Christ's presence in the Eucharist in the tabernacle, it's just an overwhelmingly beautiful experience. We were part of that heaven on Earth for 11 years.
We had the opportunity to visit our old parish this weekend. As I knelt to pray after communion I wondered why I still was having a hard time getting used to where we are now. "I had such a mountain-top experience, Lord, why can't I have that now?" I long for that spiritual high, near ecstasy, I had then. Then I heard what surely was the voice of God asking, "What do you know, scripturally, about mountain-top experiences?" Well, let's see. Moses had one. The Ten Commandments were given to him to share with the Israelites. The other I thought of right off the bat was Peter, James, and John's experience on the mountain during the Transfiguration of Christ.
Now I was being asked what these mountain-top experiences DID for Moses, Peter, James, and John? How did it change their course? How did it impact their lives? Did it give them a renewed zeal to bring God's message to others? Of course it did. It also gave them a well of strength to draw from when their journey became a little dry.
I was quite thankful for the visit to our old church. It was great to see our old parish family, soak in all of that goodness, to remember the mountain-top we used to be upon, to hear God's voice, and to draw water from the well of our past experience.
I hope I won't go as long as Mother Teresa, but at least for now, I see it for what it is and how God wants me to use it.

1 comment:

Leah said...

Thank you. I just got your comment.
We have moved about 1 1/2 hours from that church now and will be looking for a new church home. We are hoping to get involved with the Baptist Church here in town, but we are charismatic and a little timid of the Baptist Church (we were both raised Baptist).
So, keep us in your prayers. This New Year should be a great year!
Hey, also visit my new blog at www.lifeonthenewfarm.blogspot.com to see what we are doing at our new place!