For quite some time now I have had this secret guilt: that I have not had to endure persecution for being a Christian.
I was reminded of that as I was reading the scripture for Mass this past weekend during a rare moment that I took for myself to actually prepare to hear the Word of God. It is nice to be able to reflect on the scripture beforehand. I am not always organized enough to make it happen. Ennyhoo... I digress.
So, here I am carrying around this guilt. I have never had to go through a holocaust. Or a nightmarish hostage situation where my life or my death depended on my answer of "Yes, I am a Christian." Others have had to endure such hardships because of their faith. I have not. That doesn't seem fair.
Fast forward to Mass on Sunday.
King was chasing number 4 through the narthex and I was holding a very squirmy number 5 for quite some time before I decided to just let her crawl. Our other three children, who have outgrown this "you can't sit in 'big church' if you cannot behave" stage, were sitting in the Sanctuary so sweetly. They even looked to be paying attention. The whole while King and I were going through a hellish nightmare of kid-chasing.
Then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks right between the eyes. I am being persecuted for my faith. I believe in Christ. I believe all that has been handed down from the apostles which are the beliefs of the Catholic Church. And I believe in handing down to my children their heritage of Christianity. It ain't easy!
Actually, chasing a toddler for an hour or so during Mass is the easiest part of it. The real hardship is explaining to the children why we don't listen to just any ol' music on the radio and why we have to limit what they watch on tv and why King has to turn to the Weather Channel during the commercials of a Sunday afternoon football game so we don't have to explain what genital herpes is. We have to define abortion and gently break the news that they can't just ride their bikes to the park by themselves, and give them reasons why they have to be cautious of strangers, what a sexual predator is, the list goes on. All sorts of ways that humans have profaned God's Holy Design. Having to explain all of these things... difficult topics, different levels at different times... five times over.
The most annoying part of it is that we can't let our guards down. Ever. I am called to be a model of a Christian ALL the time. Not PART of the time. There is no time off for good behavior. Besides, what would "time off" mean anyway? I can only imagine it would lead to sin... can't you?
So, I shan't feel guilty about the fact that I have never been in a concentration camp or in a Columbine-type situation. I am being persecuted each and every day for my beliefs. Sure, there is no gun in my face. But I am looking down the barrel of the future. Raising five souls who will, in turn, pass along to their children such a rich, beautiful inheritance.
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4 comments:
Okay, I had to comment on your comment on my post about painting the kids rooms.
When pregnant with my first, my mom told me that old wives tale, "Don't lift your hands over your head or you'll wrap the cord around the baby's neck!" She exclaimed as I reached for a bowl on the top shelf.
I turned around and laughed out loud, very loudly, in her face. I said, "What an excuse to get out of house work! That is the dumbest old wives tale I've ever heard."
She was astonished at my statement and just said that's what she had been told. I told her to think about it and figure out in her head how the baby's cord was tied to my arms. I told her that was impossible.
She hasn't bothered me with any old wives tales since. Or, if she has, she says them calmly, and then I explain why it's stupid!
you should not feel guilty about not having been persecuted, only thankful to those who suffered before you so that you do not have to. much like the freedoms we enjoy as americans, thanks to those who fought & gave their lives.
besides, if the aclu & the far left have their way, you will have to fight against religious persecution! be careful what you wish for and be grateful to God and to those before us that you can worship freely...for now!
so, I confess, I didn't take time to read this earlier, but WOW!
I loved it.
Honestly, though, I do feel persecuted for Christ's sake. Each time I take my 4 (and one on the way) children to the grocery store and someone tells me I have my hands full. Every time I mention I am pregnant with number 5, or someone tells me I am gonna have trouble when they are all teenagers.
It hit me a while back that I must begin to stand up for my children's future. How dare a complete stranger tell me my children are going to be hoodlums, especially when they are behaving so sweetly in the store.
The world has a scew (and screwed up) view of large families. For some reason, society thinks anyone with more that two, three at the most, children is stupid.
I tell you...That is persecution. Being overlooked and looked down on for your belief that God has called you to 'be fruitful and multiply.'
Love ya!
I agree. We are not just raising children, we are raising souls . . . the hardest job there is. God bless.
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